Answer for Could Technology Surpass Class Teaching? was submitted by Saman Maharjan and is scored a band score of 7.0.
How to submit my answer for scoring?
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The development of modern technology will surpass traditional way of teaching. What do you think?
Explain and give examples from your own relevant knowledge and experience.
» Write at least 250 words.
With the sheer rise in use of technology, most people agree that it could actually outweigh class teaching. It seems to me that with proper use of technology, it could surpass the traditional ways of teaching but sometimes the essay seems to be debatable.
On one hand, students can actually find better ways of learning themselves with their topic of interest while having the facility to customize the style and pace of learning. Every student gets to customize the way of learning through smart technological tools with variety of topics to study which helps to nurture their abilities. One of the biggest advantages of smart learning is that the students have better communication with the teachers as they don’t have to wait for the lecture to be over or take special appointments. The doubts are cleared within minutes and they could keep up with the pace of study.
But still, class teaching seems to have more impact on social behavior of the learner and also have better moral behavior comparatively. However, classroom learning are still preferred thinking it develops moral skills and behavior while virtual learning is far more sophisticated.
Today, technology have come a long way in enhancing the education system and creating a world of infinite possibilities where students would never have to be isolated from education and travel miles to attend a class which he/she could get today within a blink of an eye.
An IELTS examiner reads your answer 4 times, each to attain the following standards. Scoring information about Could Technology Surpass Class Teaching :-
|Cohesion and Coherence||7.0|
Examiner’s Touch upon Could Technology Surpass Class Teaching:-
This is a Band 7.0 essay.
As the examiner, it is immediately clear to me in the first paragraph that the writer is introducing DISCUSSION essay, which is not what the task requires. For an opinion essay or personal viewpoint essay writer should have said something like “However, I personally do not entirely accept this, and I will explain why in this essay. ” We need academic phrases with a person attached to it like “I”.
The two sides of the topic are then discussed in logical paragraphs, with a series of simple examples to support each side which is very good.
The linking phrases help to introduce each example (E.g. On the one hand, but, however), however, more could have been used. E.g. the final paragraph has no linking words to understand that it is the conclusion of the essay.
The final paragraph, however, does not state the direct opinion of the writer on whether technology will outweigh class teaching or not.
There are minor grammatical errors as well e.g on one hand should be on the one hand.
The English used is reasonably academic and the sentences are generally clear. The reader gets the impression that the writer is rational and well-informed, and able to discuss a topic objectively.