[Band 8] Answer For Rate of Smoking per 1000 People in Someland

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» You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.
The graph below shows the rate of smoking per 1000 people in Someland from 1960 to 2000.
Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information in the graph below.

» Write at least 150 words.
answer for rate of smoking per 1000 people in Someland

Band 8 Model Answer:-

The graph compares the rate of smoking in men and women in Someland between the years 1960 and 2000.

It can be clearly seen that the rate of smoking for both men and women was declining for the last 20 years and that fewer women had smoked throughout the period. In 1960, 600 men in every 1,000 was smoking. This number decreased gradually to 500 by 1974 and continued to decrease but more steeply to 250 in 2000.

In contrast, the rate of smoking in women in 1960 was very low at only 80 in every 1,000. By 1968 this increased to 170, and increased again but more steeply to 320 in 1977. The rate of female smokers then remained stable at 320 until 1984 at which point the figures began to decline and had dropped to 200 by 2000.

In conclusion we can see that the rate of smoking in men dropped throughout the whole period but was always at a higher level than the female figures. The rate of smoking in women increased until 1977 but then decreased for the rest of the period.

Examiner’s Comment:-

The candidate correctly groups the data in a logical way. He/She introduces the paragraph about men and women in very clear and precise way. In the second paragraph, the candidate shows that he/she sees a similar trend (fewer women had smoked throughout the period).

The charts contain a large amount of data, but the candidate selects some key figures to illustrate the trends. The detail is precise but carefully chosen. There is a variety of structures to present the figures, including the phrase ‘respectively’ and the correct use of brackets in the third paragraph.

The candidate uses terms to show that he/she understands the proportions, without adding too much detail. The summary is very effective, because it sums up the key trends described and it also highlights the exception in the assessment  chart.

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