Academic Writing Task 1 Band 7 Sample CollectionAround the Web

Cambridge IELTS 10 writing task 1 evaluated samples

The tables below give information about sales of Fairtrade-labelled coffee and bananas in 1999 and 2004 in five European countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The tables given show the amount of money (in euro) coming from trades of coffee and bananas under a label of Fairtrade in five different countries of Europe in 1999 and 2004. Overall, as is observed, the amount of revenue from two products in all countries swelled except the profits from bananas in Sweden and Denmark.

As regards the sales of coffee, the UK had 1.5 million euro in 1999 which then hit the peak of 20 million in 2004. Meanwhile, Sweden, having 3 million in 1999, doubled in 2004. However, in other countries, a bit less significant growth was observed: Denmark, Belgium and Sweden, which initially had 1.8, 1 and 0.8 million soared to the amount of 2, 1.7 and 1 million in 2004 respectively.

Moving to the trades of bananas, the UK had a significant jump from 1 to 5.5 million as did Belgium from 0.6 million (the lowest) to 4 million which is twice more than that of Denmark in 1999, that halved in 2004. Similarly, Sweden, having a profit of three times higher than that of Belgium in 1999, almost halved in 2004. By marked contrast, neither of countries had an increase as Switzerland did; its revenue, being 15 million in 1999, almost tripled, hitting all-time high in 2004.

Evaluation 

Task Achievement:  I would start by saying ” Tables show” rather than ” The tables given show”. There is good comparison of data. I would suggest you to highlight more main features of the tables.  (6)

Coherence and Cohesion: It’s not cleared that you have finished writing task 1. You can use linking words to further improve the coherence and cohesion. You can use words like ¨In the end of the given period¨, this will show that you are going to end your report.  (8)

Lexical Resource: In your task there is certainly variety and a range of vocabulary. (7)

Grammatical Range and Accuracy:  This section can be improved using articles.  (7)

Overall: 7


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